the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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