My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize