i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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