Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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