ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
