She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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