Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
