jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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