walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
