I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
