so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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