oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
