she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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