big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
