She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
