yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Holy shit dude........stairs
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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