So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
