Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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