I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
