We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
