oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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