Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
high people should be assigned attendants
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
