your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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