Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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