Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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