She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
