I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
