Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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