just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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