love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
