i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?