I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
