We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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