You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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