she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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