k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
