I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
