hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
