if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
