i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize