you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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