im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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