how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize