Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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