Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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