literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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