So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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