at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
