please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
