East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
