I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
