This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
