I wannas sexs uuuuu
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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