it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
