Me. At least after what I've been through.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
