Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
