I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
