Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
love makes seman taste better
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
