your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
