I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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