Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
